This video is cute because he's being kind of a ham for the camera. K does his screech that he's recently become so fond of. It's a little ear-piercing, but he thinks it's a riot. :)
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sharing the Joy
Kawika makes the cutest noises, I swear. I've been trying to take videos of him more frequently because he changes SO fast.
This video is cute because he's being kind of a ham for the camera. K does his screech that he's recently become so fond of. It's a little ear-piercing, but he thinks it's a riot. :)
This video is cute because he's being kind of a ham for the camera. K does his screech that he's recently become so fond of. It's a little ear-piercing, but he thinks it's a riot. :)
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
The Season
I just had a moment of... clarity? Gratitude? I realized how truly fortunate I was and I'm quite humbled while now pondering the many good things in my life.
I wanted a hot meal, so I got in my car that I didn't have to pay for (it was a 10 year old hand-me-down, but still), and drove to a place that took a small amount of my money and handed me a hot meal through a window so that I didn't even have to get out and get rained on to pick up this meal that I didn't have to prepare. Then I drove back to my office and had a brief chat with my supervisor (that I like and respect, who likes and respects me) wherein she agreed to approve my taking some college courses in Business Administration & Management, so that my tuition and fees get reimbursed by our employer. I then got a call from my loving, supportive (if sometimes immature) partner & the father of my beautiful son, where he offered to pick up our son after work so I didn't have to go out of my way.
How fortunate am I? How completely awesome is my life? How different is it for people born in poorer countries, or to poorer families? No, I don't have gold-plated toilets, or fly first class while taking multiple vacations a year, but I do get vacations. Paid ones. I do rent a decent-sized home that has room for myself and my family. And I don't have to fight for food, or clean water, or the right to do what I want when I want.
No, life isn't always fair or just, not even for me, but it could be a hell of a lot worse. I'm going to try to remember that more frequently from now on.
I wanted a hot meal, so I got in my car that I didn't have to pay for (it was a 10 year old hand-me-down, but still), and drove to a place that took a small amount of my money and handed me a hot meal through a window so that I didn't even have to get out and get rained on to pick up this meal that I didn't have to prepare. Then I drove back to my office and had a brief chat with my supervisor (that I like and respect, who likes and respects me) wherein she agreed to approve my taking some college courses in Business Administration & Management, so that my tuition and fees get reimbursed by our employer. I then got a call from my loving, supportive (if sometimes immature) partner & the father of my beautiful son, where he offered to pick up our son after work so I didn't have to go out of my way.
How fortunate am I? How completely awesome is my life? How different is it for people born in poorer countries, or to poorer families? No, I don't have gold-plated toilets, or fly first class while taking multiple vacations a year, but I do get vacations. Paid ones. I do rent a decent-sized home that has room for myself and my family. And I don't have to fight for food, or clean water, or the right to do what I want when I want.
No, life isn't always fair or just, not even for me, but it could be a hell of a lot worse. I'm going to try to remember that more frequently from now on.
Friday, November 18, 2011
STOP INTERNET CENSORSHIP
For those of you who do read my blog, I have an important message I'd like to share with you. Please read the infographic below and if you care about the right to free speech online at all, I urge you to visit www.americancensorship.org to read more info and/or contact your local representatives to help stop this bill before it's enacted into law. We cannot allow this!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Over-thinking Things Again
I've had a lot on my mind lately. My family, my relationship, my child... I suppose you could group all of those into "family." I do this thing every few years where I get restless with my current situation and start thinking about my other options. Is it just that I relish change? Or do I continuously get myself into situations that I can only cope with for a few years at a time before I get fed up and have to get out?
C and I recently went to LA to be on one of those small-claims court TV shows. Our old landlords had filed a suit against us in our local small claims court, alleging that we damaged their condo so badly it needed $4k worth of repairs. We answered in denial, then filed a counter-suit (to get our deposits back). Apparently these TV shows have researchers all over the place, one of which found our case and brought it to a producer's attention. Long story short, we all agreed to go, and we went. We figured we didn't have anything to lose. They paid for the airfare, hotel, ground transportation, and meals, plus pay us an appearance fee, and the winning party gets paid by the show so the losing party isn't out any money. Sounded good, right?
It went horribly for us. As it turns out, the "judge" of the show isn't actually bound by any laws of any particular jurisdiction, and is free to make her "ruling" based on... whatever she wants. Usually, I have discovered, that means that whatever makes good TV goes. So we were the "bad guys" and were portrayed as such, though we didn't know that until we got on set and the "judge" and plaintiffs started talking. Man, what an awful feeling, to have people lying about you, and you can't do anything about it, and nobody listens to what you have to say in your defense, or they listen then laugh at you, or scoff, or make rude remarks.
As a side note, the audience on those shows is paid to sit there and make noises of approval or disbelief, per the coaching of the producers. There was a girl behind me calling me names the whole time. It was very distracting, and hurtful. We were defamed on video, which will likely be aired nationwide, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I left in tears.
All of this led to a big discussion with C afterwards in which he got very defensive (as usual) and made lots of excuses for his behavior (as usual). I've tried to be very understanding and forgiving, and now I am failing miserably at that. Fortunately for me, I don't really feel like I'm failing at anything anymore; rather, I am finding my voice again and putting my foot down. I hope for his sake that he has the sense to shape up soon, because I'm running dangerously low on patience, and I'm not as content as he believes anymore.
I suppose most relationships deal with ups and downs. I just wish there weren't as many "downs" as there are. Is there any hope in trying to change a person? I know it's for the best, he knows it's for the best, and yet... nothing! Where's the disconnect? Why can't he see how harmful and selfish his behavior is?
Well, time to stick my head back in the sand. I can't do anything about it right now, and I'm not (quite) ready to, anyway.
C and I recently went to LA to be on one of those small-claims court TV shows. Our old landlords had filed a suit against us in our local small claims court, alleging that we damaged their condo so badly it needed $4k worth of repairs. We answered in denial, then filed a counter-suit (to get our deposits back). Apparently these TV shows have researchers all over the place, one of which found our case and brought it to a producer's attention. Long story short, we all agreed to go, and we went. We figured we didn't have anything to lose. They paid for the airfare, hotel, ground transportation, and meals, plus pay us an appearance fee, and the winning party gets paid by the show so the losing party isn't out any money. Sounded good, right?
It went horribly for us. As it turns out, the "judge" of the show isn't actually bound by any laws of any particular jurisdiction, and is free to make her "ruling" based on... whatever she wants. Usually, I have discovered, that means that whatever makes good TV goes. So we were the "bad guys" and were portrayed as such, though we didn't know that until we got on set and the "judge" and plaintiffs started talking. Man, what an awful feeling, to have people lying about you, and you can't do anything about it, and nobody listens to what you have to say in your defense, or they listen then laugh at you, or scoff, or make rude remarks.
As a side note, the audience on those shows is paid to sit there and make noises of approval or disbelief, per the coaching of the producers. There was a girl behind me calling me names the whole time. It was very distracting, and hurtful. We were defamed on video, which will likely be aired nationwide, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I left in tears.
All of this led to a big discussion with C afterwards in which he got very defensive (as usual) and made lots of excuses for his behavior (as usual). I've tried to be very understanding and forgiving, and now I am failing miserably at that. Fortunately for me, I don't really feel like I'm failing at anything anymore; rather, I am finding my voice again and putting my foot down. I hope for his sake that he has the sense to shape up soon, because I'm running dangerously low on patience, and I'm not as content as he believes anymore.
I suppose most relationships deal with ups and downs. I just wish there weren't as many "downs" as there are. Is there any hope in trying to change a person? I know it's for the best, he knows it's for the best, and yet... nothing! Where's the disconnect? Why can't he see how harmful and selfish his behavior is?
Well, time to stick my head back in the sand. I can't do anything about it right now, and I'm not (quite) ready to, anyway.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Losing steam
I can't even believe what a toll this week has taken on me! I attended a spill drill for one of our bigger contracts and put in two 10-hour days in a row, but that shouldn't have wiped me out as much as it did. I've done that before without the same fallout I'm feeling now. I can pinpoint the differences in this drill but I won't go into them here.
On a slightly related note, it's been quite some time since I felt this conflicted. I wish there was a clear-cut answer, but I don't think there is. Why is nothing ever as easy as I think it should be? Between new interests and the same old conflicts, I'm running out of patience for pretty much everything these days.
Here's something that never fails to cheer me up though:
Other good things: Getting a good parking spot, butterflies, having an umbrella when it starts to rain, new friends, renewing old relationships, and forward progress. Also, today is Friday. That is a very good thing.
On a slightly related note, it's been quite some time since I felt this conflicted. I wish there was a clear-cut answer, but I don't think there is. Why is nothing ever as easy as I think it should be? Between new interests and the same old conflicts, I'm running out of patience for pretty much everything these days.
Here's something that never fails to cheer me up though:
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| How could you not smile back? |
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
An open letter to my fellow commuters
Dear fellow commuters,
I know that the drive from Vancouver to Portland sucks, and the return trip sucks more. I do it every day, as you do. This does not mean, however, that you should vent your frustration on your fellow commuters. There are some "rules of the commute" that, though unwritten, are no less important than the posted regulatory signs. To remind you, since it seems you've forgotten, please refer to my handy list below:
1. When all three lanes are stop and go for miles on end, you must pay attention. This is not a time to check your e-mail, find the CD you dropped under your seat, or reapply your makeup. As a driver who has been rear-ended twice this year by drivers who were not paying attention, I will say it again for the record: Watch where you're fucking going.
2. The carpool lane is for cars containing 2 or more people, or buses, or motorcycles. You, single guy talking on his phone, are no more important or entitled than the rest of us. Get the hell out of the carpool lane.
3. It is not only polite, but legally mandated, that you use your turn signals when changing lanes. I know that your 40-thousand-dollar car is equipped with them, because my 1997 P.O.S. is. Use them, toolbag.
4. If you must smoke (you should quit!), then smoke. It's your right. But realize that not everybody in the 3-car radius that can smell your noxious exhalations enjoys that carcinogenic cloud as much as you do. And for the love of god, when you're done sucking on that cancer-stick, don't drop that smoldering butt out of your window. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that someone willing to damage their own body wouldn't give a second thought about the environment, but it's still extremely fucking rude.
5. Merging is a fact of life. If the cars on the road alternate 1-for-1 with the cars merging, we should have no problems aside from the inevitable slow-down. But when you cut over in your jacked-up pickup with the TruckNutz hanging from the tow hitch and push your way through traffic, you fuck up the flow. So knock it off.
6. Big rigs require a lot of room to maneuver, get rolling, and (especially) to stop. That giant space between them and the car they're following? Not there for you. I wouldn't feel sorry for you at all if you cut in front of a tractor/trailer that suddenly couldn't stop as fast because YOU'RE there and it ran into you. That would be your fault, you stupid twat.
7. Speaking of following distance. That extra space between MY car and the car I'm following? Also not there for you. 1 car length is not enough room to stop if dude in front of me slams his brakes, so I allow a little more than that. This is not a space for you to squeeze into. If I see you thinking about squeezing in, I might purposely close that gap a little more to block your move. Just saying.
8. Changing lanes in an intersection: illegal. Driving up the shoulder to avoid traffic and cutting in at the top of the line: douchey. Swerving left before making a right-hand turn: retarded (and dangerous). Red lights mean stop, but not in the middle of the intersection.
If we all follow the "unwritten rules of the commute" I feel like we'll all be happier drivers. At least, maybe I won't feel like going all demolition derby next time I-5 turns into a parking lot.
I've got my eye on you , smokers.
Sincerely,
Julie
I know that the drive from Vancouver to Portland sucks, and the return trip sucks more. I do it every day, as you do. This does not mean, however, that you should vent your frustration on your fellow commuters. There are some "rules of the commute" that, though unwritten, are no less important than the posted regulatory signs. To remind you, since it seems you've forgotten, please refer to my handy list below:
1. When all three lanes are stop and go for miles on end, you must pay attention. This is not a time to check your e-mail, find the CD you dropped under your seat, or reapply your makeup. As a driver who has been rear-ended twice this year by drivers who were not paying attention, I will say it again for the record: Watch where you're fucking going.
2. The carpool lane is for cars containing 2 or more people, or buses, or motorcycles. You, single guy talking on his phone, are no more important or entitled than the rest of us. Get the hell out of the carpool lane.
3. It is not only polite, but legally mandated, that you use your turn signals when changing lanes. I know that your 40-thousand-dollar car is equipped with them, because my 1997 P.O.S. is. Use them, toolbag.
4. If you must smoke (you should quit!), then smoke. It's your right. But realize that not everybody in the 3-car radius that can smell your noxious exhalations enjoys that carcinogenic cloud as much as you do. And for the love of god, when you're done sucking on that cancer-stick, don't drop that smoldering butt out of your window. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that someone willing to damage their own body wouldn't give a second thought about the environment, but it's still extremely fucking rude.
5. Merging is a fact of life. If the cars on the road alternate 1-for-1 with the cars merging, we should have no problems aside from the inevitable slow-down. But when you cut over in your jacked-up pickup with the TruckNutz hanging from the tow hitch and push your way through traffic, you fuck up the flow. So knock it off.
6. Big rigs require a lot of room to maneuver, get rolling, and (especially) to stop. That giant space between them and the car they're following? Not there for you. I wouldn't feel sorry for you at all if you cut in front of a tractor/trailer that suddenly couldn't stop as fast because YOU'RE there and it ran into you. That would be your fault, you stupid twat.
7. Speaking of following distance. That extra space between MY car and the car I'm following? Also not there for you. 1 car length is not enough room to stop if dude in front of me slams his brakes, so I allow a little more than that. This is not a space for you to squeeze into. If I see you thinking about squeezing in, I might purposely close that gap a little more to block your move. Just saying.
8. Changing lanes in an intersection: illegal. Driving up the shoulder to avoid traffic and cutting in at the top of the line: douchey. Swerving left before making a right-hand turn: retarded (and dangerous). Red lights mean stop, but not in the middle of the intersection.
If we all follow the "unwritten rules of the commute" I feel like we'll all be happier drivers. At least, maybe I won't feel like going all demolition derby next time I-5 turns into a parking lot.
I've got my eye on you , smokers.
Sincerely,
Julie
Thursday, October 6, 2011
"Plus Size"
Halloween is right around the corner! I love this holiday, but I'm feeling kind of melancholy about it this year. I think this is because I'm having a heck of a time finding a costume. As a size 16, I find myself in that dreaded PLUS size category. The costumes are made for "bigger" girls, but they're still as skimpy as the ones for those size 4's out there. Also, there are fewer options. I had my heart set on the red "Um" dress from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. I found it at a costume shop online and was SO excited... Alas, the largest they run is a 14, which in costume land probably fits closer to a 12. So I kept looking. I've found a few other acceptable choices, but I'm not excited about any of them. I wish I was excited about my costume, but I haven't found anything that great (in my size) and it seems like even the so-so choices are too expensive. Why drop $50 on something I'm ambivalent about?
In happier costume news, I picked out what Kawika will wear trick-or-treating. He won't really understand it all, but that's OK. We're going in a group with our cousins and their kids so it'll be fun regardless. I get to show off my cutie-pie and daddy gets candy. LOL.
Because I'm excessively practical, I couldn't bring myself to spend $40 on something he will wear exactly once, no matter how cute (darn you, tiger costume!) so I bought this:
It has little ears on the hood to make him look like a teddy bear, and it will keep him warm when we're out strolling the neighborhood. I think I'll put a little waterproof black eyeliner on the tip of his nose to make it more "bear-like" on Halloween. It only cost me about $25 at Old Navy, AND he can wear it when we go watch his cousin Anthony (13) play football on the weekends. It gets cold in those bleachers, and I won't be bringing K to sit around outside unless he's super-bundled!
Meanwhile, I'm down to 2 choices of my own. I'll be wearing whatever it is at work (and I could wear something much skimpier if I chose; our work atmosphere is... very relaxed) and also at my SIL's annual Halloween Party. I put it in caps because it's kind of a big deal. Everyone gets really into it, and you're expected to show up in costume & in character. I'm leaning toward Gretchen, but my short hair might work better with the flapper. *shrug* Short and curly would be cute on either, though, don't you think?
In happier costume news, I picked out what Kawika will wear trick-or-treating. He won't really understand it all, but that's OK. We're going in a group with our cousins and their kids so it'll be fun regardless. I get to show off my cutie-pie and daddy gets candy. LOL.
Because I'm excessively practical, I couldn't bring myself to spend $40 on something he will wear exactly once, no matter how cute (darn you, tiger costume!) so I bought this:
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| So snuggly! |
Meanwhile, I'm down to 2 choices of my own. I'll be wearing whatever it is at work (and I could wear something much skimpier if I chose; our work atmosphere is... very relaxed) and also at my SIL's annual Halloween Party. I put it in caps because it's kind of a big deal. Everyone gets really into it, and you're expected to show up in costume & in character. I'm leaning toward Gretchen, but my short hair might work better with the flapper. *shrug* Short and curly would be cute on either, though, don't you think?
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| Gretchen |
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| Flapper |
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