Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Various doctor-related things

I went for a routine checkup on Monday and Things looked good.  All of the Baby Things.  Blood pressure is good, glucose level normal, heartbeat steady, frequent movement from the little guy.  I get quite a few of those stupid practice contractions (Braxton-Hicks) on a daily basis, but not enough to concern my doctor.  And since we're on the topic of my doctor, I'd like to take a moment to tell you how awesome I think she is. 

Nothing against my last doctor, really, I liked her at the time, too.  But I always felt like my last O.B. didn't remember me when I went in, or didn't particularly care about my pregnancy.  It's her job and she does it every day and she has a ton of patients, yeah yeah yeah.  I still want to feel like she at least cares a little about me, and my particular baby.  I thought I saw her at the grocery store once while I was still her patient, and I smiled, and she pretended like she didn't see me (or maybe she didn't see me).   I like the women I work with and if I saw them randomly outside of work I'd say hello, but I completely understand a doctor wanting to keep that border clear.  Regardless, she could have smiled.  It's not like I would have started asking questions about placentas and nuchal translucency in the produce section.  But she didn't.  And then she didn't deliver my baby because she wasn't on call that day, and then she didn't come by to see me afterward until a full 2 days later right before we checked out.  She did, however, circumcise my son and did a fantastic job at that.  So, props there.

When we moved from Washougal into Vancouver proper last summer, I switched doctors.  I still go to the same clinic (they have a few locations) but different doctors practice at the different locations.  Needless to say, I wasn't horribly attached to my last O.B., and I really wanted to see one closer to home.  So I made an appointment with my current doctor based on her online profile on the clinic's website for the location that is now closest to my home.  Best decision ever.  She's amazing.  She's funny and witty, easy to talk to, and even though she's matter-of-fact and businesslike, I never feel like she's rushing me through my appointments.  She takes the time to refresh herself on my chart's details at each appointment and always follows up with me when I have questions.  I really, really hope she gets to deliver me, because I think the whole on-call rotation thing is pretty much their standard at this clinic. 

So!  After all of the Things looked good we realized it was about time to schedule my Glucose Tolerance Test, aka the Drink The Evil Syrup On An Empty Stomach Then Give Blood Test.  Oy.  I had a not-so-great experience last time.  Short version: I had to drink the stuff twice.  You're supposed to drink it in the morning, on an empty stomach after fasting all night, then go to the lab to get your blood drawn exactly 1 hour after drinking the stuff.  So I did, only the lab wasn't open at THAT location and I didn't have enough time to get to the OTHER location within that magical window, so that was a bust.  The second time it all worked out and I passed the test just fine. 

This time, the procedure has changed.  It is now a "2 Hour Test" (HAHA).  You fast all night, head to the lab at your scheduled time (mine is 8:30), give blood, drink the evil syrup, wait an hour, give blood, wait another hour, give more blood.  So all in all, 2 hours PLUS all the time I'll be awake in the morning, not able to eat or drink, taking care of Kawika, then actually drinking the shit, THEN feeling like CRAP for 2 hours until they finish all the blood-stealing.  At which point I will likely be light-headed from no food and sick to my stomach because of the evil syrup.  But then I get to go in for another routine O.B. checkup! 

My doctor was nice enough, however, to reschedule me that day.  I had originally had an appt planned for 3:30 pm so as to minimize the impact of time away from work.  When we saw that fell right in the ideal window for the GTT, she said she'd squeeze me in earlier in the day so I can come up between blood draws (one of the advantages of this clinic, they have ALL practices in one giant building) to get checked out.  So that was nice of her, too.  But I still have to miss 1/2 a day of work for this shit.

Here's the obligatory this:

20 weeks aka HALF WAY TO BABY, OMG
I've gotta start remembering to take these photos at home.  The soap and paper towel dispensers in the work bathroom are seriously cramping my style.

And one more, for the road:

Awww, snuggles!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Photo catch-up

We went to Chris's grandma's house on Mother's Day to hang out with the rest of the family.  She has a fountain in her back yard.  He couldn't resist.

 It didn't seem to faze him any.  It was a warm day, even back in the house, playing with grandma's toy box.

We had a nice weekend the next week, too.  Just sittin out back, chillin!

Eating a cup of noodles with Daddy...

Nom nom nom
 Wonton wanted some, but he's wants whatever we're eating, it's not like he loves noodles or anything.


Damn kid, getting all the scraps!
The nice weather didn't last, unfortunately, but such is life in the PNW.  We're lucky we got any sun at all, actually.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Ghost Stories

I had a dream last night.  This is not anything particularly out of the ordinary, especially now that I'm pregnant, since my pregnancy dreams seem to be more vivid and easier to remember.  But it was a different kind of dream, and it has me feeling pretty emotional this morning.

I dreamed that my great grandpa was hanging around, keeping an eye on my son.  Now, I met my great grandpa when I was an infant, but he died when I was still tiny and I don't really remember him very well.  His wife, however, I was close to as a child and she died when I was a pre-teen.  In the dream, great grandpa J was watching over Kawika, but wasn't really at peace, so strange things would happen around our house, like doors closing or items moving.  In the dream, I knew it was him, and I shouldn't be scared, but it still worried me that he didn't seem at peace.  Then great grandma J came, and fixed whatever was wrong, and they were happy there together, watching over Kawika.  I felt the energy change and knew she'd come, knew she'd made things right.  And then I got to see them, together, dancing slowly to music I couldn't hear, outside under the stars.  And I cried because I was so happy to see them together and know that they were there with me and my son, watching over us.  And then I woke up, crying.

When I dropped K off at my mom's this morning I told her about the dream.  She smiled and said "It's because you have their bowls at your house now."  And I was surprised, thinking back on the gift she'd given me for Mother's Day last week:  a beautiful set of myrtle wood salad bowls, with a large myrtle wood serving bowl and the wooden serving utensils.  When she gave them to me she said that they'd been her mom's, but not that they'd belonged to HER mom before her, which apparently they did.  Then my mom said "I always felt like Grandpa J was here with me too." 

Although I've never before wondered if any other members of my family had hung around to keep an eye on things, secretly, I've always felt like one or the other of my great grandparents Jorgensen were there.  I couldn't tell you why if you asked, but it's true.  Call me superstitious or silly... it's still true.  Hearing my mom say those things this morning... it didn't give me a chill, but instead it felt like validation.

Usually, I am a very rational person.  If I can't see it, touch it, hear it, etc. it's probably not real.  I allow the "probably" because I am so very rational and my rational brain has to allow that it might not know everything there is to know in the universe.  And although I consider myself to be very grounded, I still get spooked by ghost stories and believe in Karma.  So it's not too far outside my realm of believability to think that my great grandparents pop in to check on us every now and then.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Ultrasound Recap

Our ultrasound on Monday morning went pretty well.  The ultrasound tech who started the appointment didn't finish it though, because he was having a hard time...?  Finding things he needed to see..?  I laid there with goop on my belly for all of an hour while he hmm'd and huh'd and muttered to himself.  Both my mom and Chris's mom came to the appointment for the sheer fun of watching the baby on the monitor and finding out the sex.

Chris's mom had to leave at 8:40 to go to work, and even though the technician had asked us a couple of times if we wanted to know the gender, he still hadn't told us.  He could have; I saw him looking at that general area more than once and I was pretty sure of what I was seeing, but didn't say anything.  Then a couple of times, talking about the baby, said "little dude."  Um, hello, official news?  You didn't give us any?  Is that a hint, or your default terminology for all babies?

Needless to say, Bridgett was pretty upset that she had to go before the sex reveal.  At 9 am, another tech came in and in a very nice tone pretty much told the first guy that he was fucking shit up for the rest of the day, schedule wise, and kicked his ass out.  She quickly and efficiently got shots of all of the parts that the guy was not able to, like the cord insertion point, hands, the 4 chambers of the heart, and the kidneys and bladder.  She then asked us "Do you want to know what you're having?"  as she zoomed over baby's bottom on the screen.  We all said that we did, and without even a pause she said "There's the penis!"

Cute little profile

Boy bits, dead-center of the picture

Now, I will admit something a little shameful here.  I had to try not to cry at that point.  Two weeks prior, in my OB's office, I was told it was highly likely that I was having a girl.  Ultrasound!  No scrotum!  Different symptoms!  Optimism!  Oh well.  Chris was ecstatic.  He did the same thing he did when he found out we were having a boy the first time, with his whole fist-pump, "YES" in a half-whisper, getting up and jumping a couple of times just to let the excitement out.  Meanwhile I was trying to maintain a facade of surprised-yet-happy, which I was DEFINITELY feeling, and NOT feeling, respectively.

At about that point, Kawika hit his wall for patience with sitting in a darkened room and not being able to touch mommy and it's naptime and I didn't have a real breakfast because we've been here for an hour and a half... so my mom took him out to play in the waiting area.  The tech finished up and said the MFM specialist would be in soon to talk to me and then we'd be on our way and she left.  I cried.  Chris tried to console me but it ended up sounding like a lecture on how I'm not excited about this baby and I need to be or he won't "turn out as good" as Kawika and why am I not happy, blah blah blah.  I just needed to be disappointed for a minute!  I had to completely change how my brain had been thinking about this pregnancy and this baby because I was WRONG.  My intuition, my dreams, even the inconclusive yet promising ultrasound, was all wrong, and it's a boy, not a girl.  And I wanted a girl.

I don't know how many more kids we will have.  I would have been perfectly content to stop at 2, one boy, one girl.  Now... I don't know.  I'm not sure WHY I wanted a girl so bad.  They scare me a little.  I think of teenage boys and I cringe a little at the grocery bill and how their rooms might smell, but I think of teenage girls and immediately start to hyperventilate about birth control and them taking my makeup and wearing trashy outfits and all the drama and hormones and AGGHH!!!

Chris always said he saw me as a mom of boys.  I'm good with boys, whatever whatever.  The mother-son bond is special and wonderful.  Agreed.  But that doesn't mean that a mother-daughter bond wouldn't be special.  Or that I wouldn't be a good mom to a girl.  It was just a big disappointment, being so wrong, and then his celebration felt a little like rubbing salt in a wound.  We talked it out and by the end of the day I was feeling better about the whole situation.  I've started to get excited about having another boy.  I know boys.  I got this.

Plus, I get to reuse all of Kawika's newborn and 3-month clothes.  He grew out of them so quickly and they were ALL SO CUTE, you know?

Plus, I get to be a mommy again.  To a new little dude.  Who will be teeny and wonderful and needy and noisy.  Again with the no sleep, having someone attached to my boob 18 hours a day, getting peed and poo'd on, a bajillion diaper changes a day... and I wouldn't change it.  I am so excited, and happy, and I can't wait.